I grew up in the 90s, nestled naively amongst Furbies, Friends and fashion trends I’d rather forget about. I also played a lot of video games, inviting small town me to embark on new experiences, one of which was Bully (or Canis Canem Edit, as I knew it). Taking on the cliques of Bullworth Academy as the unruly Jimmy was a totally unique premise for a game. I thrived on balancing a busy school schedule with side missions upon side missions, as well as a wealth of NPCs that wanted to make my life difficult.
It quickly became one of my favourite games growing up and one I think of fondly to this day, but I’m also dead set on never playing it again. I don’t want to see how it measures up to today’s games because it already sits so wonderfully in my mind as a pristine nostalgic experience that I don’t want to soil. Much like rewatching Space Jam (or going anywhere near the 2021 revival, ouch).
So when I heard about Agefield High: Rock the School, a self-proclaimed mashup of Bully meets GTA meets American Pie, I thought I’d finally gotten my call up to revive my experience. A modern day invitation to live out my nostalgia and potentially experience Bully for what it could’ve been if it had been made 20 years later? Don’t mind if I do. Unfortunately, while I truly wanted to love this game, there are too many reasons why I didn’t. And I think even if you didn’t play Bully back in the day, everything I’m about to say is still overwhelmingly relevant.
Heavy on the ‘go to college, get a good job and your life will work itself out’ ethos, Agefield High: Rock the School drops you, aka Sam, into a prologue that reveals how you’ve ended up in Agefield to pursue all of these things.
While abating the same tingles I got when I first started Bully, I was awash with hope and anticipation. I watched on eagerly as the plot was laid out to me in a prologue that told me not to cause any trouble on my first day, but boy, was I ready to cause some trouble once it was over. It turns out you’re there because your parents are going through a divorce. There are only a few months left of school and you just need to ride them out. On your first day though, you meet two boys who have big plans to “rock the school”, taking down the jocks, throwing a cool party, getting the girls, and having the best prom ever… as long as you’re up for a bit of bad behaviour.
In theory, it’s the makings of any great coming-of-age teen movie of the early 00s. You’re counting down your days left of obligatory schooling and you’re ready for a summer of fun. But instead of feeling like a movie-inspired game, the cutscenes are so insanely long to the point I felt like I was just watching a movie (one that wouldn’t rate too hot on IMDb). Yet, instead of a plot line taking centre stage, it was abundant instead with millennial pauses, completely bizarre shots and unsettling close-ups where the characters’ eyes drift off into oblivion. I assumed this was just prologue-related abundance, but to assume certainly made an ass out of me.
As I arrived at Agefield High for my first day, I walked past NPCs reeling off some pretty amusing phrases like how their parents nearly found a magazine under their bed, that they’re waiting for marriage, that they need a protein shake. I found myself smiling and wondering how risque it was going to become as I delved into an American Pie-inspired high school experience. Turns out, it wouldn’t be long until I was fed up of hearing the same phrases repeated time and time again.
Like Bully though, you do need to attend actual school alongside carrying out your ‘rock the school’ aspirations. And there’s certainly some teen movie inspiration rife here. One of the first teachers I met, Ms Davidson, promised a personality akin to Stiffler’s Mum, pouting her lips and showing off her belly button for the class. It was deliciously tongue-in-cheek and reeked of potential that certainly finds a place in Agefield High: Rock the School. But, it never felt like enough.
Instead, you’ve got a busy class schedule to juggle. Throughout the week, you have to attend (or risk your pocket money and grades) for two double periods a day that cut into your main mission time considerably. Unfortunately, unlike its muse, Bully, the classes are one-dimensional. For the most part, I found myself answering quiz questions based on the subject. A little something different for music had me playing a Guitar Hero-inspired mini game that frustratingly didn’t line up with the actual music you’re hearing.
It’s true to its inspiration though when it comes to school life. There are cliques from goths to jocks all carved out. It’s also abundantly clear where you stand in the rankings (a bit of a reject) and that’s why there’s a plan to ‘rock the school’. 20 minutes into the game and I’d already had a fight (the mechanics of which I need to talk about shortly), met the weirdly (but amusingly) sexual Ms. Davidson, and embarked on my first dare to steal some panties. They weren’t joking when they said this was a game that features “edgy, crude, and irreverent humour.” If anything, I was hungry for more.
Instead, I found myself wanting to avoid school altogether to delve into the main and side missions as much as possible. I’d sneak off on my bike to reach another one before the school bell rang. And it’s the bikes that are worth talking about in Agefield High. In a game that suffers from gameplay that feels a little off, riding on your bike feels like a mechanic they got right. Screeching brakes, speed boosts and the occasional ramp or skate park to play around in were moments of joy, which is a total relief considering you spend a lot of time on your bike. Though Sam must have thighs of steel considering he never sat on the actual bike seat. But, I’m bereft to say with so much hope in my heart for Agefield High, that this might be where the joy ends.
While there are a fair amount of missions to play out in the game, you do spend most of that time cycling between them. When you finally arrive at the missions (which can only be accessed at certain times of the day), a cookie-cutter theme starts to emerge. You’re either sneaking around, which feels less like sneaking and more like just straight avoiding the visual cone even though you’re clearly getting seen regardless. Or, you’re being chased, where you’ll run or cycle away. Or, you’re following someone, which feels about as creepy as it sounds. There’s intention here from stealing graded papers to recovering a naughty magazine that feels very naughty 00s, but I fear it gets lost amongst the monotony of following similar steps to get there.
While the game is busy with these ridiculously long cutscenes and various types of movement in missions, there’s one other thing that’s in abundance in pretty much every single mission – and that’s fighting. I used to love getting into a ruckus in Bully, but fighting in Agefield High is undoubtedly one of my least favourite parts of the game. Throwing swings and defending yourself have unusually janky angles and movement, as well as repetitive steps. I found myself sighing when I knew another fight break was coming up, which I began to recognise when a NPC would stare directly into the camera after saying something provocative, followed by another millennial pause. And no matter how many times I knocked these jocks out, they just kept coming back for more.
Aside from run-ins with jocks, your actual social circle is incredibly small considering you’re in a school full of people. Agefield itself feels like a simulation of a town with a real lack of residents around, especially when it comes to who you can interact with. There’s the odd character like old Mr. Clint, conspiracy lover and Clint Eastwood-esque Gran Torino porch dweller, who will weave in a different narrative, but ultimately you’ll meet the same people. NPCs will repeat their programmed phrases and knocking into them will trigger some angry mutterings, but that’s where it ends. I began to notice the same police officer at the same corner handing out a parking ticket, the same NPC repeating they want a divorce. Sure, there are some missions where you’ll need to briefly interact with additional characters, but they’re monikered with names like “Food Man” and “Old German”.
Agefield High: Rock the School is wonderfully inspired by the raunchy teen comedies of the early 2000s and there are vibes of wanting to be Bully’s spiritual successor, but there’s only so much trouble you can get into. For a modern day Bully, I’d hoped for more. Hunting down gold panties and burned CDs, destroying boxes and lockers that say “Kick Me!” will only get you so far. If you try and do anything out of the mould during a mission, you’ll fail. For Agefield High, I wanted it to be more ‘break the rules’ naughty, but maybe that says more about me than the game.
Credit where credit’s due, developers Refugium Games have created a title oozing with nostalgia and they’ve certainly tried to achieve a lot of different things with the plot. Referencing iconic titles like Bully and GTA as your muse is a seriously high bar to aim for. And while there are smatterings of fun with bizarre plot lines and early 2000s comedy tropes, it ultimately felt less like American Pie and more like The Truman Show.
